An Enslaved Woman in Massachusetts Confesses Her Sins, 1748

The Confession of Flora Negro [1748]

To the New-Gathered Congregational Chh in Chebacco-

Rev'd Hon'd and Beloveds 

I freely Confess and acknowledge unto you as in the Presence of the great God and his Elect Angels, as also what I expect to answer to, before the Judge of the quick and Dead, at the Tribunal Seat of Jesus Christ; that I have been made truly sensible, that my conduct of late has been such as Justly to cool your charity for, and be matter of just offence against me-I have sinned against Heaven and in your sight and am not worthy to be reckoned among the Sons and Daughters of God; As to my Sin it is not hid from you, God has bro't it to light by his providence[,] Oh the great God is my witness how I have seen it to be of a Crimson Colour & of a Scarlet Die attended with grievous aggravations indeeds[,] I do therefore beg leave for your Satisfaction my own Humiliation & Abasement & the warning of others: to Confess and Lay open before you, what were the provocations I gave the Lord to leave me to fall into Temptation and Sin, what apprehensions I have had and Tryals respecting my Fall, and the Satisfaction I have received that the Lord hath covered my sin with a mantle of his pardoning Love.

As to my provocations they were indeed great for God does not afflict willingly, nor leave his pardoned ones without a Just Cause, the Provocations, I gave, that have Especially been made plain to my view; [were?] spirituall Pride, Ingratitude, Unwatchfulness and Levity or Lightness; spiritual [illeg.] rise up after manifestations of God's smiles, & great Freedom to utter [the] same before men, & also after freedom in persuading sinners to repent [sins?] and live, Ingratitude, also that Beastlike Satanical & God provoking Sin to be Unmindful of the God that made me, and lightly to esteem the Rock of my salvation would frequently creep in upon me- and Unwatchfulness and Levity also, especially when I did not feel much bowed down by the Majesty of Heaven, & hereby a wide Door was hath been opened, I have seen for Satan to spread his Temptations and Snares to beguile souls and stir them up to wantonness and concupiscence; Yea! To provoke God to leave them as it were to Satan and their own Lusts [illeg.]: And what can poor souls do? when God is thus provoked? Thus I provoked God; oh, pray for & take learning by such an Instance as I am.

As to the apprehensions I have had & tryals respecting my Fall they are many, I have had Temptations to seek ways, to hide my Iniquity from Men, but the Lord in Mercy frustrated them all, and gave me to see that it was against him I had sinned, and done wickedly in his sight, And also gave me to Behold my sin in some measure in a true Light; as it was attended with most heinous Aggrevations indeed; as being against a pardoning God, after pardon received and wonderful endearing Manifestations of his Love and Favour to me, Tending not only, to make such settle down in their opposition (as being in the right) that have all along appeared against the work of God: but also to Occasion the holy name of God, to be blasphemed, especially by such as I have heretofore endeavoured to persuade and beseech to Embrace a precious Christ but Time and your Patience would fail me to relate particularly, what Darkness has been spread over my Mind and cast in my way, by reason of this my Fall. What shame has covered me before Men and Confusion of Face before God; how God frown'd upon me and hid his Face from me, how Just it appeared to me, for God to cast me below Sodomites, yea, below Devils in Torment now my soul sunk down into the Deep Mire where there was no standing; and now the bellows [?] and floods overflowd me. But while I was in this Condition God gave me a Spirit of Prayer, out of the Deep I cry'd to him [illeg.] God, out of the Depths of Confusion Shame Sin Impotency and Unworthiness, and the Lord heard, to my Surprize & Astonishment, he ran to my Relief, he kissed me with the Kisses of his mouth and I found his Love to be better than wine.

The way that God Took with me, to pluck my Feet out of the Miery Clay and horrible Pitt, was by bringing home to my soul some Texts of holy Scripture. The first were those blessed words of our Saviour, John 7.37 that great Day of the Feast Jesus stood and Cryed, if any man Thirst Let him come unto me and Drink; at first I was not sensible of much Spiritual Thirsting, but soon after they were bro't with power to my mind, I found some thirsting, but Unbelief immediatly step'd in, and argued, that the Call could not be to me, my sin was so great: which caused me to Question whither it was bro't to my Mind by the holy Ghost, but These workings were soon silenced by those words in Isai: 63.1 It is I that speak in Righteousness, mighty to save: Which came with such Evidence & Demonstration that I was not only satisfyed that Christ called me before to Drink of his pardoning and healing Love but also that altho' my Sin was of a Crimson Colour and Scarlet Die attended with greivous aggravations; yet there was enough in Christ to pardon O them words: mighty to Save silenced unbelief & reviv'd my shattered and disconsolate Soul[,] now the pardoning Love of God again flowed into my Soul & caused my Heart to melt & flow with penetential streams; I could then have wished my head a Fountain & my Eyes Rivers of water to weep over my Sins; never did I before, find my heart so Resolved, never to harbour Sin or to be reconciled again to it as now I found it. No Tongue of Men or Angels can fully Express (it seems) what an Indignation & Revenge boiled in my Heart against myself, and the Sin that I had been besett with & overtaken by: 0 I beg your Prayers for me that I may bring forth much Fruit, meet of Repentance and be made to Discover to all in my futer Life Conversation Conduct and Behaviour, the Truth of what I have now been Declaring unto you. I beg your Forgiveness. I pray you to Restore me to your Charity and Fellowship and the Privileges that I have forfitted, by my Fall, I beg Desire your Prayers for me, that in Every Relation I might walk becoming one professing Godliness, & adorn the Doctrine of God my Saviour in all Things[,] yea that I may be made more circumspect than ever heretofore in my Walk, so as to declare God's Glory abroad; And Let all that have named the Name of Christ, take warning by me, not to let down your Watch for such will Certainly fall into Temptation as I Do.

Your's &c, 

Flora Negro 

Her F Mark

[Ipswich, Mass.]